Learning the Art and Heart of Hospitality

One of the things I feel like God is working on inside of me in my time of hermitage is how to develop relationships and friendships.
At church, they are constantly preaching about hospitality and friendship. On my reading list the other day was the book of Philemon. I thought, "The WHOLE book of Philemon?!" and then...I couldn't find Philemon, 'cause it's so small and tiny, it's tucked in between Titus and Hebrews that it almost disappears. Well, I read it, and well...quite frankly, I felt like God was speaking directly to me through Paul, some thousands of years later. I don't know if that's weird or not. I have heard of stories where God speaks to people rather profoundly and loudly so that they have no doubt in their mind whether or not it's God or if it's their own piddly brain playing tricks on them. There have definitely been moments in my life that I was pretty sure that it was God speaking directly to me, and it freaked me out!! I honestly don't know what I would do if it was as profound as SOME people's encounters with God!!
Anyway, so, if you'll forgive my craziness, I ended up reading the book of Philemon feeling like God was directly speaking to me.
Among other things, that are kind of personal at the moment and I do not want to publish for the whole world to see, was verse 22 "And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers" (You can read the rest of the book here)
There are several other places in the bible that discusses hospitality, but I just happened to read this one the other night.
I'm not going to lie, I was never really taught how to keep house, I'm a pretty good cook, if I do say so myself, but I have no one to share my creations with...I have been working with FlyLady.com and it has helped me control my house in ways I've never been able to do before. I am, by definition, a messy. I'm still working on how to organize tech weeks and the piles of dishes, laundry and trash that stack up when I come home and just want to pass out. So last night, I cleaned. It's not all perfect yet...but it gets better and better every day.
and then...I began reading SetApart Magazine this morning (the Nov/Dec edition just came out yay!) with the request of Paul in my mind.

Well Leslie Ludy's little boy had turned 2 and usually, on her kids birthday she puts a little photo shoot of her kids, and today she left the quote from Winnie the Pooh in her Photo Shoot " Silly Bear, you can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
And so...is my affliction many times, I convince myself that other people don't want to be around me, because they don't come to me, but I don't go to them either! Silly Bear!
And I continued to flip the pages, anxious to read what Leslie has discovered about hospitality. You can read the first part here, and the second part here.

The Reidinger Alumnae House at Saint Mary's

I went to St. Mary's College in Notre Dame IN, and it used to be, way back in the day, that in order to graduate, you had to pass a homemaking test. You would live in this little cottage called the Reidinger House (which by the way is SO cute!!) and you would live there for a week with a couple other woman, being in charge of the upkeep of the home. Now, I almost feel like I should have passed a similar test before I graduated because in some aspects I am pretty much clueless, and being single does not allow me to ask for help in such instances as throwing a load in the wash, or doing the dishes and I do not know a lot of women who ARE single or HAVE been single for a long period of time, who can teach me the art either. I do find some things inspiring, Real Simple Magazine makes me feel absolutely out of control of my life, but sometimes they have helpful solutions. Domino Magazine used to be my favorite, but they went under after the recession. I do have an article from them saved that I have found practical, and helpful.  I have to type up the list 'cause it's no longer on the internet either!
how to run a perfect household (sans staff) by Cynthia Kling Domino May 2008 pg 76

Figure Out Your Hosting Style, and amass the essentials. I'm into tea parties, so I invested in an Eva Zeisel service from Crate and Barrel. When I see someone coming up the driveway, I'm good to go. 
Make A Home Bible, Part 1: List all emergency number, plus those for workmen, pet sitters etc. Part 2: Catalog every major household job, and which month to do it in. Part 3: Create a list of food staples, organized by supplier, then make 10 copies to stick on the fridge. Whoever is going shopping-or ordering a delivery-will know exactly what to get and where.
Have Pads and Pencils beside every phone, and in the car, so you're never scrambling.
Fill a Drawer With Petty Cash When something runs out, it can be replaced immediately. Ask the one who uses it (husband, housekeeper, {ha! I wish} babysitter) to leave receipts.
Choose Signature Colors and load up on wrapping paper and ribbon. People will pick out yours in he pile at the bridal shower.(AND it makes it SO much easier and cheaper when you need a ribbon to match your wrapping paper)
Arrange Your Pantry with the products you use most often in front, and with rarely used items in back.
Stash Light Bulbs, Toilet Paper,linens etc., in each bedroom and bathroom, instead of just one central location
Label the Linen-closet Shelves and you'll never mix up the double and queen sheets. Empty shelf space will remind you when it's time to do a load of wash.
Forget about Whites Chocolate-brown towels and shocking-pink napkins are more durable, easier to keep clean and jazzier.
Buy Whatever You Use Frequently in large quantities. It will save you tons.


I have always wanted to be one of those people who had knitters circle on Monday Nights, and dinner with the girls on Weds, and Breakfast with my best friend on Saturday Mornings. Sadly, and book club (actually I don't really ever want to be in a book club...but you get the idea.) Is that just for the "ladies who lunch?" That would be horrible...
I'm a theater person, and strangely, as much as theater has had a bad wrap for being sinful, I believe that it brings me closer and closer to God, the more I understand and look at the human experience. It gives us the ability to examine ourselves and our hearts, without actually looking inward. Which sometimes hurts too much, and then we're faced with it, head on, and we don't have the ability to look away when we relate to a character in a play.
Okay, I promise this all relates. The difference between the ladies who lunch, and the hospitality Paul asks for, is that the ladies who lunch are "lunching" for themselves, for the view that the world has of them, everything is about me! me! me! How can I create crochet circle and dinners and breakfasts and "book club" about God. How can I use my hospitality to "Share (my) faith, so that (I) will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ." (Phil. 6) What does it look like to "Watch over the affairs of (your) household and not eat the bread of idleness" Prov. 31:27. How can I be a lady who lunches, while my lunching shares my faith? And what's up with American Adults? Why can't we seem to make time to make real friends, and true relationships?